Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
