Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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