i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
