Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Randomize
