3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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