I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
4 words: hood of his car
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
