Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
