In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
