she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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