I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
