in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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