i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
there was a trapeze. enough said
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
