well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
