You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
The ass gains better be worth it
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