hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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