Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
