Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize