Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
