That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize