Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
