Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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