I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
