we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
