You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
