yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
