tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
