That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
