I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
