so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
