I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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