franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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