People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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