i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize