I CAN MOONWALK!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
