I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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