thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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