I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
