I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize