Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
