he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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