hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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