its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
foreskin is a definite game changer
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
