I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize