Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
