i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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