Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
