Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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