Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
