Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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