what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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