Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
