stop calling my apartment porn island.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We had to coat check the pizza.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
