SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
