the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
not ubering you a puppy
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize