Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
