Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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