Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
