i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize