windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize