Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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