No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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